Prediction: Stony Brook Seawolves VS San Diego State Aztecs 2025-08-28
San Diego State Aztecs vs. Stony Brook Seawolves: A Tale of Two Turnarounds (With a Side of Sacks)
Ladies and gentlemen, prepare for a collision of contrasting narratives: San Diego State, the overachieving underdog trying to forget a 3-9 nightmare, and Stony Brook, the FCS Cinderella story riding a magical 8-4 redemption arc. Letâs break this down with the precision of a QBâs spiral and the humor of a punterâs shanked kick.
Odds: Why the Bookmakers Think This Is a Foregone Conclusion
San Diego State is the NFLâs Tom Brady at a college football combineâunstoppable, yet oddly overpriced at a sportsbook. The Aztecs are favored at -1000+ odds (yes, you read that right; FanDuel lists them at 1.07 decimal, implying a 93% chance to win). Meanwhile, Stony Brook, the scrappy FCS underdog, is a +700 underdog (12% implied probability). The spread? A brutal -19.5 to -20.5 points, meaning Vegas thinks SDSU will win by the same margin as a Netflix password reset code expires.
The total is 54 points, suggesting this wonât be a âgritty defensive battleâ (unless you count the Seawolvesâ defense watching the clock melt). For context, Stony Brook averaged 31.8 PPG last season; SDSU, under Lewis, averaged 23.2 PPG. So, expect a fireworks show⌠for one team.
Team News: Injuries, Turnarounds, and a QB Named âJaydenâ
San Diego State: Sean Lewis, the man who turned a 3-9 trainwreck into a âtremendous teamâ (per his own presser), has a QB battle won by Jayden Denegal, a true freshman who outdueled Bert Emanuel Jr. (yes, that Emanuelâs son). On defense, Trey White (12.5 sacks last year) is the human equivalent of a spam filterâblocking signals and sacking hopes. But letâs not forget: SDSU ended 2024 on a six-game losing streak, which is longer than most college relationships.
Stony Brook: Roland âThe Human Lawnmowerâ Dempster is the real deal. The graduate student from Staten Island rushed for 1,332 yards and 18 TDs in 2024âstats so absurd, they make a Marvel villain look mundane. Coach Billy Cosh, FCSâs version of a reality TV coach, turned a 0-10 team into a playoff contender, earning Coach of the Year honors like a college football Elon Musk. But hereâs the rub: Stony Brookâs offense relies on Dempster like a toddler relies on a pacifier. If heâs stuffed, the Seawolves might as well bring a white flag.
The Humor: Because Football Needs More Laughter
San Diego Stateâs defense is so dominant, they once sacked the concept of hope. Trey White? Heâs the reason why âsackâ is singular in the dictionary. Meanwhile, Stony Brookâs offense is like a reality TV showâDancing with the Stars one week, Survivor the next. Dempsterâs 2024 stats? If he were a toaster, heâd be the one that also naps.
And letâs not forget SDSUâs new head coach, Sean Lewis, whoâs under pressure to prove that âtremendous teamâ isnât just a motivational poster. His first season was like a group projectâfull of promise, but ended in a 3-9 freefall. Now heâs betting on Jayden Denegal, a QB whose name sounds like a TikTok trend.
Prediction: Will San Diego State Win by 20? Letâs Do the Math
San Diego Stateâs implied probability of winning is 93%, per the odds. Thatâs the same chance of surviving a Netflix movie without cringing. Stony Brookâs 12% chance is about as likely as a snowstorm in August.
But hereâs the twist: Dempsterâs legs are literally built for miracles. If he goes off for 200+ yards and 3 TDs, Stony Brook could pull a 20-point rally⌠in a video game. Reality? SDSUâs defense will treat Dempster like a VIP at a bouncerâs partyâno passes, no exceptions.
Final Verdict: San Diego State wins 35-17, covering the spread by a hair (28-20). The Aztecsâ QB, Jayden Denegal, will throw for 250 yards and 2 TDs, while Trey White adds 3 sacks to make Lewis forget about that 3-9 streak. Stony Brookâs Dempster will rush for 120 yards, but itâll be like watching a sloth win a marathonârespectable effort, but not the result.
Bet: SDSU -19.5 (-110). Because if youâre going to lose by 20, at least you get a free hat from the bookie.
And remember, folks: Football is 90% preparation, 10% luck, and 50% pretending you knew this all along. đ
Created: Aug. 29, 2025, 1:45 a.m. GMT