Prediction: Tennessee Tech Golden Eagles VS Lipscomb Bisons 2025-12-03

Lipscomb Bisons vs. Tennessee Tech Golden Eagles: A Three-Pointed Lesson in Basketball Etiquette

Ladies and gentlemen, prepare for a midday showdown where Lipscomb Bisons (-10.5) bring their three-point artillery to Allen Arena, while Tennessee Tech Golden Eagles trudge in, still reeling from a 42-point drubbing that probably left their morale in the Georgia mud. Let’s dissect this matchup with the precision of a coach’s halftime timeout and the humor of a player explaining why they missed every free throw.

Parsing the Odds: Why Lipscomb’s Spread is as Wide as a Circus Tent
Lipscomb enters as a double-digit favorite for good reason. The Bisons average 11 three-pointers per game (24th nationally), a weapon that outpaces Tennessee Tech’s ability to defend the arc by 3.1 makes per contest. Think of it as a popcorn machine vs. a sieve—Lipscomb’s offense pops while the Golden Eagles’ defense leaks. Their +29 scoring differential (3.6 PPG edge) suggests they’re not just here to play basketball; they’re here to tutor it.

Tennessee Tech, meanwhile, is a team in need of a wake-up call. Their -25 scoring differential and 311st-ranked defense (allowing 80.8 PPG) make them the basketball equivalent of a sieve holding back a waterfall. Last week’s 123-81 loss to Georgia? That wasn’t a game—it was a mercy rule. Their 27.9% three-point shooting (339th) is so惨 that even a squirrel could outperform them from beyond the arc.

The over/under is set at 150.5, but both teams’ opponents average 155.8 points combined. If history repeats, this game could be a popcorn festival—over is the obvious play unless you enjoy watching teams “surprise” you by scoring fewer points than a toddler’s snack time.

Digesting the News: Injuries, Momentum, and Why Tennessee Tech Needs a Nap
Lipscomb’s recent 88-77 win over Southeast Missouri State was a masterclass in efficiency, led by Mateo Esmeraldo’s 22-point explosion. The Bisons’ home-court magic (2-0) is bolstered by Grant Asman’s rebounding prowess (4.9 RPG) and a defensive rebound edge that’s fourth in the ASUN. No major injuries reported—though one wonders if Esmeraldo’s 6.6 APG means he’s secretly time-traveling to collect steals in the 15th minute.

Tennessee Tech? They’re the team that forgot the playbook. After a 42-point loss to Georgia, their “bright spot” was Mekhi Turner’s 16 points—impressive, until you realize Georgia’s backup bench scored more. The Golden Eagles shoot 45.7% from the field, which sounds solid until you realize Lipscomb’s opponents shoot 44.8%. In basketball terms, Tennessee Tech is the “solid” in a “solid loss.”

Humorous Spin: Three-Pointers, Squirrels, and the Art of Not Getting Blown Out
Lipscomb’s offense is like a well-oiled espresso machine: consistent, caffeinated, and capable of burning Tennessee Tech to a crisp. Their 11 threes per game? That’s not basketball—it’s a math problem the Golden Eagles can’t solve. Imagine Tennessee Tech’s defense: a group of students staring at a whiteboard covered in equations, while Lipscomb’s shooters are the professor who already solved the problem in their sleep.

Tennessee Tech’s three-point defense is so porous, they’d let a blindfolded squirrel attempt a shot—and probably pay the squirrel to take it. Their 2.8 fewer threes allowed per game than opponents? That’s not defense; that’s a surrender.

As for the over/under, 150.5 is as realistic as a snowstorm in July. With Lipscomb’s 78.6 PPG and Tennessee Tech’s 80.8 PPG allowed, this game will likely blow the line like a birthday balloon at a wind tunnel.

Prediction: A Three-Pointed Victory for the Bisons
Lipscomb’s three-point barrage, home-court advantage, and Tennessee Tech’s defensive incompetence paint a clear picture. The Bisons should win by double digits, likely covering the -10.5 spread with ease. As for the total? The over is a no-brainer—unless you’re betting on Tennessee Tech to suddenly discover the “defense” button on their playcalling remote.

Final Verdict: Bet Lipscomb (-10.5) and the Over 150.5. Unless you enjoy watching teams like Tennessee Tech turn basketball into a tragicomedy, in which case… well, free entertainment!

Go forth and bet wisely—or at least bet with the confidence of a man who’s seen a squirrel outshoot a college team. 🏀

Created: Dec. 3, 2025, 6:34 a.m. GMT

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