Prediction: Tulsa Golden Hurricane VS Oklahoma St Cowgirls 2025-12-15
Wyoming Cowgirls vs. San Jose State Spartans: A Game of Two (Very) Weak Coffee Cups
Ladies and gentlemen, prepare for a clash of college basketball’s most modest offensives! On December 17, the Wyoming Cowgirls (3-6) and San Jose State Spartans (1-9) will square off in a battle that’s less “March Madness” and more “January Doldrums.” Let’s break down why this game might as well be titled “Who’s Less Bad at Scoring?”
Parsing the Odds: A Statisticians’ Cry for Help
Wyoming’s offense is about as effective as a screen door on a submarine. Led by Malene Pedersen (16.3 PPG, 97th nationally), they’ve scored a paltry 52.7 points per game—350th in the country. Their defense, however, is a slightly less leaky faucet, allowing 59.4 PPG (94th). Recent history? A 34-80 drubbing by Minnesota where they shot 30% from the field. Pedersen, usually a star, managed just 10 points—like a lighthouse that forgot to turn on its light.
San Jose State? They’re the team that accidentally set their offense on fire. Led by Maya Anderson’s 11.8 PPG (507th nationally), they average 56.9 PPG (317th) while surrendering 70.1 (290th). Their -13.2 PPG differential is like a diet soda: low calorie, high disappointment. Oh, and they’re trying to end a seven-game road losing streak—desperate enough to consult a sports psychologist or, I don’t know, a time-traveling version of themselves from 2023.
Digesting the News: Injuries, Streaks, and Why This Game Matters
Wyoming’s recent loss to Minnesota wasn’t just a defeat—it was a masterclass in futility. Shooting 30% isn’t bad in Jeopardy!; it’s career-threatening in basketball. Pedersen’s 10 points were a glimmer of hope in a desert of turnovers and missed layups. The Cowgirls’ defense, though, is the real MVP of mediocrity, holding opponents to a mere 59.4 PPG. Not great, but hey, at least they’re not the San Jose State of defense.
The Spartans? They’re the definition of “here today, gone tomorrow.” Their 56.9 PPG average is worse than a slow coffee shop on a Monday. Anderson’s 11.8 PPG is like a flickering candle in a tornado—present, but not particularly helpful. And that seven-game road losing streak? It’s longer than a Netflix series that forgot to release the final season.
Humorous Spin: Because Sports Needs Laughs
Wyoming’s offense is like a cowgirl trying to rope a tornado—enthusiastic, but not great at results. Their defense? A rusty gate that keeps out everyone except points. San Jose State’s attack is a team of actors in a “how to not score” seminar. Their defense? A welcome mat that says, “Come on in, we’ll let you score… just don’t enjoy it too much.”
The Spartans’ road losing streak is so long, it’s considered a historical event in Laramie. They need a Hail Mary, a time machine, or a trade with a team that believes in miracles. Meanwhile, Wyoming’s hope lies in Pedersen rediscovering her shot—like a lost sock in a dryer full of despair.
Prediction: The Unavoidable Math of Mediocrity
While both teams are statistical nightmares, Wyoming’s marginally better defense (-6.7 PPG differential vs. San Jose State’s -13.2) and slightly less abysmal offense give them the edge. The Spartans’ road woes and offensive futility make them the basketball equivalent of a deflated whoopee cushion.
Final Score Prediction: Wyoming 63, San Jose State 56.
Why? Because even in a game where both teams play like they’re dribbling through quicksand, Wyoming’s “quick sand” is just a little slower. Go Cowgirls—don’t let the pressure of being only 63 points get to you! 🏀
Created: Dec. 15, 2025, 3:27 p.m. GMT