Prediction: UCLA Bruins VS California Golden Bears 2025-11-25

UCLA vs. Cal: A Rivalry Rekindled in the Empire Classic
The UCLA Bruins (5-1) and California Golden Bears (5-1) are set to clash in a rematch that’s part basketball game, part family feud, and 100% necessary for the internet to produce a meme about someone tripping over shoelaces. Let’s break this down with the precision of a coach’s whiteboard and the wit of a halftime joke.

Parsing the Odds: Who’s the Favorite?
The numbers scream “UCLA, baby!” The Bruins are favored by 8.5 points across most books, with moneyline odds hovering around -125 to -130 (implied probability: ~56%). Cal, meanwhile, sits at +300 to +350 (implied probability: ~22-25%), which is basically the sportsbook’s way of saying, “We think Cal can win, but only if UCLA’s players collectively forget how to dribble.”

The total is set at 143 points, suggesting a middle-ground between UCLA’s recent offensive explosions (86 points vs. Presbyterian) and Cal’s defensive grit (holding Sac State to 26.9% shooting). If you’re betting the Over, you’re banking on UCLA’s 36% three-point shooting and Cal’s… well, Cal’s Chris Bell heating up from deep again (he’s 12-of-22 in his last three games). If you’re taking the Under, you’re probably just tired of watching these teams play and want it to end.

Team News: Injuries, Depth, and the Ghost of Tyler Bilodeau
UCLA is dealing with a minor crisis: Tyler Bilodeau, their 14.8 PPG scorer, is out with an injury. But fear not! Backup Brandon Williams stepped in against Presbyterian and had his “best game of his career as a Bruin” (11 points, 7 rebounds). Translation: He didn’t cry on the bench, which is a start. Coach Mick Cronin praised the team’s “attitude,” which is code for “they didn’t quit during the Arizona loss.”

Cal, on the other hand, is a well-oiled defensive machine. They’ve held opponents to 57 points in two of their last three games, including a 26.9% shooting performance against Sac State. Guard Justin Pippen is the team’s defensive MVP, and Coach Mark Madsen sounds like he’s coaching a spy thriller: “Our ball-screen coverage is tighter than a drumhead. And our shot-contesting? It’s not just physical—it’s psychological warfare.”

Offensively, Cal relies on Chris Bell (20.7 PPG) and Dai Dai Ames (55.8% FG, 18.8 PPG). But here’s the rub: UCLA lives in the corners and beyond the arc, where Cal’s defense is like a sieve. The Bruins’ three-point shooting (6.8 makes per game) matches Cal’s worst nightmare (they allow 6.8 threes per game). It’s a numbers game waiting to happen.

The Humor: Basketball, Physics, and Why Shoelaces Are a Sport’s Worst Enemy
Let’s be real: UCLA’s offense is like a popcorn machine—you know it’s going to explode, you just don’t know where. Skyy Clark (45% from deep) and Eric Dailey Jr. (46.7%) are the kernels, and Cal’s defense is the lid. Spoiler: The lid won’t stay on.

Cal’s defense? It’s the reason why UCLA’s Bilodeau tripped over his own shoelaces last week. Rumor has it he was so focused on avoiding Cal’s traps that he forgot how to tie them. Meanwhile, Cal’s offense is like a slow cooker: it takes time, but eventually, something edible comes out.

And let’s not forget the historical context: UCLA has won 12 of the last 13 meetings, including a 61-60 thriller in 2024. That game was so close, the referees probably considered calling it a draw and playing rock-paper-scissors.

Prediction: The Verdict from the Balcony of Overconfidence
UCLA wins this one, 78-70, because:
1. Their three-point shooting will pierce Cal’s defensive armor like a laser-guided missile.
2. Cal’s defense is great against everyone except teams that shoot 36% from deep. UCLA is that team.
3. The historical edge (12-1 in the last 13) isn’t just luck—it’s UCLA’s way of saying, “We’ve moved to the Big Ten, but we still remember how to beat you.”

But here’s the twist: If Cal’s Dai Dai Ames drops 25 points and the Bruins go 5-of-20 from deep, the Golden Bears could pull off the upset. However, given UCLA’s depth, recent form, and the fact that Cal’s last loss was to a team called “Presbyterian” (not a typo), the Bruins are the safer bet.

Final Score Prediction: UCLA 78, Cal 70.

And to all you Cal fans out there: Remember, Fryderyk Lechno-Wasiutynski just made the NCAA Singles Championship in tennis. Maybe next year, he’ll also learn how to pass a basketball. Until then, enjoy the show! 🏀

Created: Nov. 25, 2025, 9:44 a.m. GMT

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