Prediction: UNC Greensboro Spartans VS Miami (OH) RedHawks 2025-11-26

Miami (OH) RedHawks vs. UNC Greensboro Spartans: A Statistical Slaughter or a Three-Point Hope?

Ladies and gentlemen, prepare for a mismatch that reads like a math textbook written by a sadist. The Miami (OH) RedHawks (5-0), scoring 95.8 points per game like it’s their job to empty the basket’s contents into the hoop, face the UNC Greensboro Spartans (1-6), a team that allows opponents to shoot 53.7% from the field—which is basically handing out free basketball lessons to everyone they play. Let’s break this down with the precision of a coach who’s never had a bad game.

The Odds: Miami’s Implied Probability is “ basically Certain”
The bookmakers aren’t just favoring Miami—they’re mocking UNC Greensboro. On FanDuel, Miami’s moneyline odds sit at -920 (implied probability: ~90%), meaning you’d need to bet $920 to win $100 on the RedHawks. For context, that’s like betting on a Tesla to beat a tricycle in a race uphill. The spread is Miami -10.5, suggesting even if the RedHawks have an off day (e.g., Evan Ipsaro forgets how to dribble), they’re still expected to win by double digits. The total is set at 150.5 points, and with Miami averaging 95.8 PPG and UNC Greensboro allowing 85.7 PPG, this could be a “points festival”… for Miami’s fans only.

The Stats: Miami’s Offense vs. UNC Greensboro’s “Defensive Ambitions”
Miami’s offense is a well-oiled points-printing press. They shoot 53.7% from the field, which is like asking a toaster if it wants to join the NBA. Their trio of Brant Byers (14.0 PPG), Evan Ipsaro (14.2 PPG on 54.1% shooting), and Donald Whitehead Jr. (13.4 PPG) could outscore most teams’ entire rosters. Meanwhile, UNC Greensboro’s “strategy” hinges on Justin Neely, their 11.6-rebound-per-game machine, and hoping opponents miss three-pointers. Spoiler: Miami allows 44.6% three-point shooting, which is worse than a team of blindfolded kindergarteners.

The Spartans’ lone hope? Their 7.9 made three-pointers per game, which is 1.3 more than Miami allows. But here’s the catch: Miami’s three-point defense isn’t just bad—it’s actively hostile. They’ll probably trip shooters with their 53.7% field goal percentage defense, which is like a bear guarding a beehive.

The News: Spartans Searching for Hope in a Sea of Losses
UNC Greensboro’s recent games read like a horror movie. Last time out, they lost to Delaware 73-60, with Lilian Marville scoring 17 points—half the team’s total output. Earlier this month, they got drilled 94-48 by North Carolina, a performance so惨 that even the water in the Gatorade cooler probably cried. Miami, meanwhile, smoked UAPB 111-84, with Ipsaro dropping 20 points like it was a casual side hustle. The RedHawks’ +142 scoring differential is better than UNC Greensboro’s -97… by 239 points. Math, am I right?

The Verdict: Miami Wins by “Double-Digits or Until They Bored”
Let’s cut the drama. Miami is the 4th-highest-scoring team in college basketball, and UNC Greensboro is the 292nd in scoring and 346th in defense. This is a game where the Spartans will likely shoot 33% from three while Miami drills 44.6%, including 11.6 threes per game. Justin Neely’s 11.6 rebounds are nice, but even a circus acrobat can’t save a team that allows 85.7 PPG.

Prediction: Miami (OH) wins 115-78, covering the -10.5 spread with the ease of a professor acing their own exam. UNC Greensboro’s only consolation? They’ll tie their season high for three-pointers… and that’s about it.

Final Jeer: If you bet on UNC Greensboro, may your holiday season be filled with mystery and quiet reflection. Miami, meanwhile, will keep scoring points like they’re handing out coupons for free pizza. 🍕🏀

Created: Nov. 26, 2025, 6:37 p.m. GMT

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