Prop Bets: Atlanta United FC VS D.C. United 2025-07-05
DC United vs. Atlanta United: A Mutual Pity Party with Goals
July 5, 2025 — Audi Field
Ladies and gentlemen, prepare for a match so惨 that even the草坪 is sighing. DC United (3-game losing streak, 1 goal scored, 10 conceded) and Atlanta United (also 3 games lost, 1 goal scored, 9 conceded) are here to remind us why MLS is sometimes called the "League of Mutual Pity." But hey, at least there’ll be corners!
The Numbers That Make You Go "Hmm..."
- Both teams to score: 2.0/5 funnies (i.e., very likely). These squads are so leaky, a toddler with a water gun could keep them entertained.
- Over 10.5 corners: A "safe" bet if "safe" means "probably happens unless the refs take a nap." Recent clashes between these teams have been a corner fiesta.
- Totals line: Over 2.75 goals (-110) vs. Under (+105). With both teams scoring like a broken sprinkler, over smells like a 51% implied probability. Take it.
The Odds, Unvarnished
- Moneyline: DC (+255), Atlanta (+250), Draw (+340). It’s a virtual toss-up, like betting on which sock will fall off first.
- Spreads: Both at +100 with 0 points. The bookies are saying, "Bet either team, and hope for a 0-0 draw to cash out."
Player Props to Steal Your Heart
- Christian Benteke (DC): Anytime goal scorer at +115 (DraftKings). The guy’s scored 6 goals in 13 games—twice as productive as Atlanta’s entire team.
- Emmanuel Latte Lath (Atlanta): +170 to find the net. If he scores, it’ll be the first time Atlanta’s done it in 3 games. Historic stuff.
- First goal scorer: Benteke (-380) vs. Latte Lath (+500). Bet the former, but secretly root for the latter to punk DC’s "star."
The Verdict
This game is a pick’em with a side of despair. DC gets the faintest edge at home, but Atlanta’s "moral victory" of outscoring them (1-10) might give them extra grit. Take DC (-0.5) if you’re feeling spicy, but lay the points with Over 2.75 goals and Both Teams To Score. And for the love of all that’s holy, back Benteke to score. He’s the only player here with a goal-scoring ratio better than a vegan at a BBQ.
Final Score Prediction: DC 2, Atlanta 1. A narrow win for DC, because even they deserve a break after this nightmare stretch. 🎩
Created: July 5, 2025, 7:42 a.m. GMT