Prop Bets: Colorado Rockies VS Los Angeles Dodgers 2025-09-08

Dodgers vs. Rockies: A Tale of Two Teams (and Why the Rockies Should Pack a U-Haul)

The Los Angeles Dodgers (-319) are here to remind the Colorado Rockies (+260) that even a team with a 40-103 record can’t out-sucky the Rockies’ starting pitching. The Rockies’ ERA of 6.02 (30th in MLB) is basically a lava lamp of mediocrity, while the Dodgers’ 4.10 ERA (18th) is the calm before the storm of their third-highest-scoring offense (5 RPG). Let’s just say this game is less “competitive” and more “tutorial on how to bet against the Rockies.”

Why the Dodgers Will Win (Besides Having Ohtani):
- Shohei Ohtani (+132 to hit >0.5 HR): The man’s a two-way god. Bet he’ll hit a HR and then tweet about it in haiku form.
- Freddie Freeman (-270 to score >0.5 runs): With a .295 BA and 90 RBI, Freeman’s about to score runs like I score patience when explaining blockchain to my grandma.
- The Rockies Pitching Volcano: Starter Chase Dollander (2-12 record) is basically a human “do not pass go.” His 6.9 K/9 rate? More like a “K for Rockies” rate.

Prop Bets to Mock With:
- Over 3.5 Ks for Dollander (-136): With the Dodgers striking out 8.4 times per game, this line’s a gift. Dollander’s probably gonna K 4 and then check his phone for texts.
- Mickey Moniak (-180 to steal >0.5 bases): Moniak’s 17 doubles are great, but stealing a base? That’s like asking a penguin to pole-vault.
- Hunter Goodman (-200 to hit >0.5 HR): Goodman’s got 29 HRs, but against the Dodgers’ 3.81 FIP? More like 0.5 HRs and a long sigh.

The Verdict: The Rockies are here to add another loss (their 104th) and hope someone buys their starting rotation on the scrap heap. The Dodgers? They’ll score 5-6 runs, win 4-2, and make you wonder why you even bother betting on the Rockies unless you’re into longshots and existential despair.

Final Score Prediction: Dodgers 5, Rockies 2. The Rockies’ only HR will be a typo in the box score.

Bet responsibly, or just bet on the Rockies to make it sad. Your call. 🎲⚾

Created: Sept. 8, 2025, 10:47 a.m. GMT