Prop Bets: Los Angeles Dodgers VS Colorado Rockies 2025-06-26
Dodgers vs. Rockies: A Laugher (Literally and Statistically)
The Los Angeles Dodgers (-328 ML, -1.5 RL) roll into Coors Field, where the Colorado Rockies (18-61) are about as threatening as a toddler with a rubber bat. The Rockies’ 22.4% win rate as underdogs this season? That’s basically their chance of winning this game too.
Why the Dodgers Will Win
Clayton Kershaw (34 years young, still defying gravity and fastballs) faces Austin Gomber, who’s probably more famous for his Twitter rants than his ERA. The Dodgers average 5.6 runs per game—Coors Field’s thin air won’t save Colorado’s offense, which looks like it’s powered by a single AAA battery.
Prop Bets to Mock (and Maybe Place)
- Shohei Ohtani Over 0.5 HR (-4800): If he doesn’t hit a home run, check your TV—maybe you’re watching a different sport.
- Mookie Betts Over 0.5 Doubles (-625): The man’s a double machine; Betts not getting one would be like ordering a pizza and getting a pineapple on it.
- Brenton Doyle Under 1.5 Hits (-1050): Doyle’s got exactly zero chance of hitting 2+ times. The Rockies’ lineup is so quiet, you could hear a pin drop… after it hits the ground.
- Clayton Kershaw Under 4.5 Strikeouts (-125): Kershaw’s more likely to strike out 3 Rockies hitters than to let 5 reach base. It’s a math problem only a Coors Field beer could solve.
Total Prediction: Under 8.5 Runs (1.98 implied). The Rockies’ pitchers will be so bad, the Dodgers might retire after 5 innings to avoid a mercy rule.
Final Score Prediction: Dodgers 5, Rockies 1. Because even in Colorado, gravity still exists—and it’s pulling this game toward a LA victory. 🏔⚾
Created: June 26, 2025, 8:08 p.m. GMT