Prop Bets: St. Louis Cardinals VS Seattle Mariners 2025-09-09
Mariners vs. Cardinals: A Tale of Two Parks and a Very Confused Bat
September 9, 2025 – T-Mobile Park, Seattle
The Seattle Mariners (-212) are favored to stomp the St. Louis Cardinals (+176) like a toddler in a mud puddle. Let’s break it down with the precision of a radar gun and the humor of a dugout full of comedians.
Why the Mariners Win:
- George Kirby’s ERA (4.47) is higher than the Cardinals’ batting average (.254). That’s not a typo—it’s a math problem the Cardinals can’t solve.
- The Mariners hit 210 home runs this season. Cal Raleigh (53 HRs) could single-handedly end the game in the first inning.
- The Cardinals are 38-77 as underdogs. They’re basically the “almost made it to the playoffs” team.
Why the Cardinals Might Not:
- Matthew Liberatore (7-11 record) has the same win total as a person who plays fantasy baseball for fun.
- St. Louis averages 4.3 runs per game. That’s the same as my dating life.
Prop Bets to Watch:
- Julio Rodriguez (-300 to hit a double): He’s a .318 OBP machine. Bet he’ll double like he’s dodging a line of angry fans.
- Cal Raleigh (Over 1.5 RBIs at -140): With 113 RBIs on the season, he’s the RBI equivalent of a vending machine—reliable, if slightly temperamental.
- Over 7.5 Runs (1.88): Both teams love to swing for the fences. The over has hit 77% of Mariners games. That’s not a trend—it’s a trendsetter.
Final Score Prediction:
Mariners 6, Cardinals 2
Because even if the Cardinals score a run, they’ll probably forget to celebrate.
Bonus Joke:
The Cardinals’ best player, Masyn Winn, has 27 doubles. That’s 27 more than their playoff chances.
Go out there and swing for the fences, Cardinals. The Mariners are already there. 🏟️⚾
Created: Sept. 9, 2025, 4:15 p.m. GMT