Prop Bets: Washington Nationals VS Chicago Cubs 2025-09-07
Cubs vs. Nationals: A Tale of Two Teams (and Why the Nationals Should Pack Their "L" Bag)
The Chicago Cubs (-197) are about to make the Washington Nationals’ +164 underdog story shorter than a Washington Post headline. Let’s break this down with the precision of a MLB analyst who still thinks "extra innings" is a dessert.
The Numbers Don’t Lie (Unless They’re the Nationals’ Stats)
- Cubs Starter Drew Pomeranz: 2.40 ERA, 44 K in 41⅓ IP. He’s the MLB version of a “Do Not Disturb” sign for opposing hitters.
- Nationals Starter Andrew Alvarez: Making his second start. Fun fact: 2nd starters are to pitching what a blind date is to romance.
- Cubs Money-Line: At -197, Chicago’s implied win probability is 66.3%. For context, that’s more likely than your ex texting to say “I still love you.”
- Nationals Underdog Futility: They’re 7-23 (+164 or worse), or as we’ll call it, “7 wins and 23 ‘Why are we still playing this game?’ moments.”
Offense? More Like “Offs-ense” for the Nats
- Cubs: 4.9 R/G, 193 HRs. Kyle Tucker (22 HR, 73 RBI) and Seiya Suzuki (.244 BA, 27 HR) are the offensive duo. Think of them as the MLB’s answer to Batman and Robin—if without the capes.
- Nationals: 5.7 R/G, 132 HRs (23rd). Their offense is like a Wi-Fi signal in a concrete bunker. C.J. Abrams is the lone bright spot, but even he can’t hit for the laugh track.
Prop Bets Worth Your Time (and Slightly Less Sane)
- Nico Hoerner Over 0.5 Hits (-330): He’s a .290 hitter. This is safer than leaving your kids home alone with a babysitter named “Trustfall Joe.”
- Seiya Suzuki Over 0.5 Home Runs (+540): The odds say he’ll hit a HR? More like the odds say he’ll try to hit a HR. Take the Under.
- CJ Abrams Over 1.5 Hits (-175): The Nationals’ best bet? Abrams has the hits of a caffeinated squirrel. Still, this line’s a toss-up between “confidence” and “desperation.”
Why the Cubs Will Win
Because the Nationals’ ERA (5.30) is worse than my dating profile’s honesty, and the Cubs have won 81% of games when favored at -197+. Math says “Cubs in 5.” Humor says “Nationals in a 2025 version of 1998.”
Final Prediction: Cubs 5, Nationals 2. The Nationals will go 0-for-5 with RBI, and someone will inevitably drop a fly ball that’ll be blamed on the “new stadium Wi-Fi interference.”
Place your bets, but maybe don’t bet on the Nationals unless you’re into long shots and existential despair. 🎲⚾
Created: Sept. 7, 2025, 8:43 a.m. GMT