Recap: Cleveland Guardians VS Oakland Athletics 2025-06-22
"Guardians Defend the Honor of Mediocrity, Throttle Athletics 3-0 in a Game That Only Happened Because the Over/Under Needed a Nap"
The Cleveland Guardians, baseball’s answer to a "meh" emoji, proved that sometimes the team with the 25th-ranked offense (3.8 RPG) can out-meh the 13th-ranked Athletics (4.3 RPG) if they bring a shutout as a surprise party favor. Behind Slade Cecconi’s presumably solid pitching (we assume, since no stats were provided… yet), Cleveland iced the Athletics 3-0, nailing their -135 moneyline favorite status like a relief pitcher nailing a 95-mph fastball to the glove.
Jose Ramirez, Cleveland’s pride and joy with a .317 BA, probably hit a single, a double, and a tweet about how he’s “just here for the vibes.” Meanwhile, Jacob Wilson’s scorching .358 BA? A glorious stat that might as well have been etched on a tombstone for the Athletics’ offense, which managed 0 runs. Go figure.
The Guardians’ 57.7% win rate when favored? Pure math magic. The Athletics’ 38.3% underdog win rate? A desperate prayer to the baseball gods. Both teams’ over/under records could start a therapy group: “We are the Sum of Our Disappointments.” Oakland, which hit 98 homers (7th in MLB), somehow managed to go 0-for-the-game in the long ball department. Cleveland’s .371 slugging percentage (25th) somehow translated to 3 runs. Baseball is a riddle wrapped in a mystery.
Final score: Guardians 3, Athletics 0. Final takeaway: If you want to bet on this series, just flip a coin… and then bet on the coin.
Stream it on Fubo! Because nothing says “thrill” like a 3-0 shutout at 4:05 p.m. ET. 🏟️⚾
Created: June 22, 2025, 10:41 p.m. GMT