Recap: Colorado Rockies VS Milwaukee Brewers 2025-06-28
The Milwaukee Brewers vs. Colorado Rockies: A Tale of Two Teams (and Why You Should’ve Bet on the Cat to Win)
In a game that felt less like Major League Baseball and more like a “Guess Which Team’s Struggling Worse?” quiz, the Milwaukee Brewers (46-36) steamrolled the Colorado Rockies (18-64) 5-0 on Sunday, June 29, 2025, at American Family Field. The Brewers, favored at -248 (because betting against them is like betting against gravity), proved why they’re the sport’s version of a guaranteed Netflix password: reliable, unexciting, but always there when you need them.
Key Highlights (and Lowlights):
- Chad Patrick (Brewers) pitched like he’d just read a self-help book titled How to Make Rockies Look Bad in 9 Innings. The Rockies managed 0 runs, 0 style points, and 0 dignity.
- The Rockies’ 5.56 ERA (worst in MLB) isn’t just a number—it’s a cry for help. Their lineup, featuring Hunter Goodman and Ryan McMahon, looked like two kids trying to solve a Rubik’s Cube in a hurricane.
- The Brewers’ offense, 7th in MLB at 4.7 R/G, didn’t need a standing ovation to perform. Jackson Chourio, Christian Yelich, and Sal Frelick combined to do what German Marquez’s changeup did to Rockies hitters: make them look foolish.
- The Rockies’ 1.559 WHIP (also worst in MLB) means their pitchers give up baserunners like a buffet gives away free samples.
Why It Matters:
The Brewers’ 27-13 record when favored this season isn’t luck—it’s math. The Rockies’ 18-64 record? That’s life.
Final Score: Milwaukee 5, Colorado 0.
Odds Update: If you bet on the Rockies at +201 hoping for an underdog miracle, congrats! You’ve officially joined the “I trusted the Rockies” club. Membership is free, but the heartache is not.
Verdict: This game was so one-sided, even the cheeseheads in Milwaukee were checking their watches. The Rockies need a miracle, a trade, and maybe a new pitching coach. The Brewers? They’re just here doing math: 4.7 runs per game minus 3.5 equals “another day at the office.”
Note: Do not try this game strategy at home. Betting on the Rockies is for masochists only. 🧀⚾
Created: June 29, 2025, 2:10 p.m. GMT