Recap: St. Louis Cardinals VS Los Angeles Dodgers 2025-08-04
The St. Louis Cardinals vs. Los Angeles Dodgers: A Tale of Two Tailwinds
The St. Louis Cardinals, baseball’s answer to a stubborn weed, have survived another day, defeating the Los Angeles Dodgers 3-2 on Monday night. It was a game so underdog it made a “Rocky” sequel look like a Netflix original: a tiebreaking RBI single from pinch-hitter Yohel Pozo in the 9th inning, Sonny Gray pitching like he’d just downed three espressos, and the Cardinals’ offense mustering enough pop to win but not enough to make a cardiologist nervous. Meanwhile, the Dodgers, baseball’s version of a Tesla on autopilot, limped into the All-Star break with a 7-9 record since the midseason, which is about as concerning as a baker realizing the oven’s on fire mid-recipe.
Parsing the Odds: Why Your Grandma Knows the Cardinals Are a Gamble
Let’s crunch the numbers like a baseball-shaped calculator. The Dodgers (65-47) are the NBA’s Luka Dončić in a pennant race—talented, dominant, and still somehow underperforming. They average 1.5 home runs per game (second in MLB), which is impressive until you realize their offense is basically a Tesla with a “eco” mode: efficient, but not exactly roaring. The Cardinals (56-57), meanwhile, are the baseball equivalent of a “Hail Mary” pass: 28 wins as underdogs this season, but also 107 home runs, which is about as many as a minor league team. Their offense is like a leaky faucet—occasionally useful, often frustrating.
Key stat: The Dodgers are 58-38 in games they’re favored in, while the Cardinals are 28-30 as underdogs. That means if you bet on the Cardinals just to spite the universe, you’d be 67% more likely to win a fight with your roommate over the last slice of pizza than an actual game.
Digesting the News: Injuries, Surgeries, and Shoelaces
The Dodgers’ key players—Shohei Ohtani (the human highlight reel), Mookie Betts (baseball’s answer to a Swiss Army knife), and Will Smith (the closer who’s closer to a “closer” in the sense of “this game is over” than “we’re near the finish line”)—are all healthy, which is about as surprising as finding a functioning fire hydrant in July. The Cardinals? They’re fielding a lineup that includes Brendan Donovan (who’s hitting like a guy who just learned the alphabet), Alec Burleson (baseball’s version of a “maybe he’ll break out next year” draft pick), and Willson Contreras, whose bat is as hot as a July sidewalk.
But here’s the kicker: The Cardinals’ Miles Mikolas (6-8) starts Tuesday, which is like asking a guy who’s lost the key to his car to start your engine. The Dodgers counter with Emmet Sheehan (2-2), a pitcher whose ERA is about as stable as a house of cards in a hurricane. Sheehan’s got the arm of a caffeinated hummingbird, but Mikolas? He’s the guy who trips over his own shoelaces while trying to tie them.
Humorous Spin: Baseball as a Reality TV Show
The Cardinals’ offense is like a broken sprinkler system—everyone gets wet, but no one’s sure why. They’ve got Masyn Winn, who ended a 32-game homer drought like a man exorcising a demon, and Iván Herrera, who hit a two-out homer like a guy who just remembered he had a coupon. Meanwhile, the Dodgers are the “Hollywood Reboot” of MLB—everyone’s a star, but half the team is still trying to remember the plot.
And let’s not forget the Cardinals’ bullpen, which has the reliability of a toaster oven in a hurricane. Riley O’Brien earned his first career win Monday, which is either inspiring or tragic depending on whether you’ve seen his Instagram.
Prediction: Who’s the Real Underdog Here?
Look, the Dodgers are favorites for a reason. They’ve got the star power of a Marvel movie and the depth of a well-stocked Amazon cart. The Cardinals? They’re the baseball version of a “David vs. Goliath” story, except David showed up with a slingshot and a 12-pack of energy drinks.
But here’s the twist: The Cardinals have won 28 games as underdogs this season. That’s the same number of wins as my dating life. Sometimes, the universe just decides to wink at the little guy.
Final Verdict: The Dodgers win 5-3, because nothing says “dominance” like letting the Cardinals score three runs and still winning by two. But if you’re feeling lucky, bet on the Cardinals. After all, every great sports story needs a hero… and Yohel Pozo is just one walk-off single away from becoming a legend. 🎬⚾
“Baseball: Where 27 outs are just 27 chances to prove your grandma was right about the underdog.”
Created: Aug. 5, 2025, 9:40 a.m. GMT